Loss

The first time after loosing someilone dear is like a walk in a swamp. You fidget and try to understand what should be done. Then you do things in order to keep your sanity but you mind is walking in the swamp. Some steps are on steady ground an you are sad but calm and composed. And then there is this one step and there is no ground under your feet and you are waist-deep in the murky desperation. You pull yourself out some how only to fall again some un steady steps later. The only thing that keeps you sane  is your own effort to pull yourself out over and over again. It will take a lot of time to reach the edge of the swamp, but the falling will become less frequent.