Signs

I didn't hear him come in. My head was full of clouds and they were making a storm. I could feel the pressure raising. My eyes had lost their focuss. I tried several times to close and open first the left then the right eye. Even closed both of them for a moment but still nothing. The image was not blurry, I just couldn't see clearly some spots. I decided to go to the bathroom and try to splash some cold water in my face and stretch some muscles. As I stood up my head felt dizzy and my fingertips grabbed the edge of my office desk turning the knuckles white. I looked at my colleague and wanted to say something but coudn't, as if I 'd forgotten how or what. I knew that this something was right there in my mind but I couldn't put my words around it. But it was different kind of forgetfulness not like the one when you suddenly forget a word or a phrase and you wiggle it around the tip of your tongue till you remember it. And it was also not like that forgetfulness when you enter the kitchen and don't have a clue why you came there. This time the feeling was more physical. I knew what I wanted to say and at the same time didn't know, like it was somewhere beyond my reach. I tried to joke it of but my heart skipped a beat when I saw genuine concern in the eyes of my colleague.